themonkeysinboxescorp says:
I find the anticipation is better than actually playing it a lot of time

schevethelemonmonkey says:
anticipating what exaclty though?

schevethelemonmonkey says:
I mean I agree with you

schevethelemonmonkey says:
but you never get whatever 'it' is, and when you do it's not that great

schevethelemonmonkey says:
... kinda like sex

themonkeysinboxescorp says:
anticipating playing it, anticipating lvling, anticipating getting an item

themonkeysinboxescorp says:
sex is probably the worst for it

schevethelemonmonkey says:
god... we just compared WoW to Sex man

schevethelemonmonkey says:
we need help

themonkeysinboxescorp says:
in a negative sense it's ok
	

This site always lacks updates during the Summer period, I'd like to think it's because I'm doing better things but I'm not so sure that's true, I think I just like to sit and code (XHTML in this case) when it's fucking freezing outside. I had written a new layout (none of the links on it work) for this site at the start of June I just never got around to porting everything across and now I'm not sure I like it, hence why I'm updating on the 'old site', that and I can't be bothered right now.

I'm astounded by the apparent level of incompetance in whoever is dealing with mine and Max's references for our new flat, for starters they have you fill in a very inflexible form which doesn't allow you to give the information in anything but "I hope they get that this isn't exactly what they are asking for but it's how they can get it" way and they seem unable to ring the phone numbers we gave to get the information they need. Example: "Who's your garantors employer?" "The Government" "And what's their address?" .... or they own their own business and you have to put them down as self-employed, Jesus. Not to mention that their online account system which I had to sign up for crashed as I entered my details and then wouldn't allow me to log back in again, ever. Whatever happened to ringing people? The internet's a wonderful thing but it's got a time and a place and that's not all the time and everywhere.

I also got my exam results back the other day, they were fucking dire, and I now need 80% in my final year to get a first, oh and the person that failed me for my first failed exam ever is marking my MSci Project which is nearly 17% of my degree, joy! Amusingly my best mark was in the exam I turned up to on 2 hours sleep and on the first day of a two day hangover. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go write out a list of pre-requist subjects for my final year courses and well as all relevant papers for my MSci Project then attempt to learn them all in about a month.

This is a tale of computer woes, it's fairly boring, you have been warned. So my computer hasn't been so healthy, it was making odd noises, which was presumably (and accurately) a cooling fan catching on something. Unfortunately it turned out to be the PSU fan, which being inside the PSU I couldn't either see what was catching or get in to move it, so I just smacked it a little, tilted it this way and that, but unfortunately it didn't stop. I just tolerated it for a while (about 2 days) but eventually the noise and the thought it was probably fucking up the psu fan motor made me snap. Out came the screwdrivers, ignoring the big sticker saying "UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES OPEN THIS PSU" and voiding the warranty I opened up the PSU, to find... *drum roll* the resin that was holding the copper transformers together had melted into the fan! This was probably because the whole thing was chock-a-block with dust, I gave it a good blowing, snapped off the resin that had dripped down and reassembled it. Had a slight scare when my second HDD wasn't detected in start up and had to work out how SATA power cables worked, a short time later after plugging cables into the only holes they fitted into (I'm a genius) my computer was purring again. Here endeth the tale.

Today I had my first introduction to Ladder Theory (this is about sex and relationships, not maths or physics, so keep reading). I feel the need to tread carefully here, for reasons I shall elabourate, so I'm going state that I like it along with a little 'pre-defence'. This is because I'm aware that a lot people may have pre-formed opinions about Ladder Theory, and will disapprove because either they misunderstood what it was, or were misinformed by people who did i.e. were informed about it via a third party. I was lucky enough to stumble upon the original work, not the spawned ramblings and miscomprensions of legions of internet geek fans labelling themselves IWs (Intellectual Whores: see Ladder Theory) or misogynists (like the guy writing the foreword tbh). Being able to read it without preconceptions has allowed me to see it for what it is, a peice of satire, and as a peice of satire I stand by it completely and advise anyone (with a sense of humour obviously) to read it.

I was going to write a paragraph or too on the general nature of satire; how, in a nut-shell, you're not supposed to take it at face value. However I think to really appreciate satire, you just have to get it yourself. I love it, it's entertaining and thought provoking (often cynical too), but I get that some people don't enjoy it even when they understand it. This is possibly because if someone is stupid enough to take it at face value it can be seriously detrimental, but then again it wouldn't be satire if it wasn't! Well I'll leave it at that, although on a related thought I wish that generally when people had a problem with someone else's opinion they would go talk to said someone else and dicuss it with them more often, rather than being judgmental. Then again I wouldn't have been able to flesh out this blog with 'pre-defence' if that was the case, I'd have just posted a link.

I only just figured out what it is Leia says to Han in episode IV when they get back from blowing up the death star. I must have seen that film well into the double figures, and only tonight have I finally figured out what the hell that screech was in words, perhaps it was the enhanced sound quality of the DVD version that allowed me to pick it out. Anyone that hasn't figured it out, I'll not spoil it for you.

Gold Bikini

In case anyone mistook my earlier short entry to be about the Virginia Tech massacre, I thought I'd point out that it was in no way related and was general cynacism. I don't think much can be said about what happened in Virginia, it's a tragic waste of life but an almost predictable consequence of depression (especially in an enviroment such as a university which similarly to cities can be extremely lonely places) and a country where it is easy to legally obtain firearms.

Watching how the news stories about something so serious were made as almost always made me angry at the Media. The BBC trying to put fear into the country suggesting it could somehow happen here, like he ease of obtaining handguns is even comparble between our countries, and ITN trying to suggest it was the police and law enforcement agencies fault that this happened because there was over a two hour delay between the inital double murder and the massacre. So apparently the vast majority of murders are followed by a killing spree, so obviously the police should have shut down the whole university. Fucking Media...

I've taken to printing out motivational propaganda in as large a size as can be fit on an A4 side and posting it around my room. I just wonder how it'll come across if anyone I don't really know comes into my room, I might come across as a little insane. However the chances of that are so small I'm going to leave them up.

I've noticed that over the last 3 years I meet far more people in the lead up to exams, which is a shame because then you've got hardly anytime to talk during exams and then it's deadly 4 months of Shropshire (for me at least). Maybe that's the reason I do meet more people, haha. My new camera got it's first proper outing on wednesday for Nikki and Hiral's little graduation party. If you've got a facebook account you can take a look here. First exam is next week (the rest are two weeks after easter thankfully) so I'd better go do some of this fabled 'revision'.

I'm trying not to fall into one of those "what's the point in anything" moods because of watching that film last night, but I can't but help thinking "What is the point in anything anyway?". So far I've come up with three possible answers:

One there is a point I just don't know what it is.
(In which case I should keep thinking).

Two you decide what the point of your life is.
(So I just have to keep thinking to decide what I'm going to make my point).

Three there is no point.

I should probably mention that I actually like these not quite depressive moods, they help keep things in perspective, although that then begs the question; what is the 'correct' perspective to have if there is one at all? Whatever the answers to these questions I also think it would be a good idea if I did the comprehensive questions for my tutorial tomorrow.

I'll tell you something for free, The Deer Hunter is a fucking depressing film, very good though. Although it puts your life at such an angle such that nothing seems to have anything even resembling a point. Oh and it occured to me that I didn't put up any before and after pictures for my short hair so here you go.

     

That second photo was taken at the dinner with my parents for my 21st, probably why I'm actually close to smiling in a photo! The first photo is just me being emo whilst I still could.

Over a month without posting, oops! Well at least I don't have to bore you with my new year's resolutions now. Not a lot happened last month, except I had a lovely Sony Cybershot Camera bought for me (well I paid for £100 but still the majority was paid for me), I also had an exam, got my hair cut short, and turned 21, which is possibly more news than happens in about 3 months on this blog. Went paintballing with a few friends for my 21st, was fun although not totally awesome due to the fact things kept going wrong, like paintballing costing about 50% more than advertised, and afterwards being served a crispfied steak in spoons rather than a rare one as well as getting a weird pint that tasted of soap or something, although both were replaced swiftly, also feeling very ill for about an hour for no discernable reason. My parents came down on the Sunday (my actual birthday) with a huge cake and a couple more prezzies. We then all went shopping (I got a few DVDs including another season of 24) followed by Chinese food in China town, which does qualify as totally awesome.

Went paintballing again on Saturday this time for tom's 21st, with a few of his friends from home and some uni peeps. Was great fun. I decided that money was not going to limit my enjoyment, so I ended up using around 1100 paintballs over the day. I also refused to crouch behind cover like a sissy until getting shot and remained mobile for almost every game (with the exception of the under-siege-style arena) this resulted in either: i) Cool Flanking manoeuvres resulting in many 'kills' for me or ii) Getting shot in the face, both were fun. Being me, I kept a score of Confirmed Kills (i.e. I saw my paintball hit them and explode) to Deaths (number of times I got shot), with the exclusion of the final game, which I'm going to talk about in a second because it was amazing, I got 16 Kills : 8 Deaths.

The team we played against for the day was a stag party, so at the end, we had a stag / birthday boy hunt, where the stag, the birthday boy and two of their friends each were 'prey'. The prey could not 'die' it was just a matter of how many hits you were willing to take. The hunters on the other hand, we only allowed 1 hit each as per normal. It started with 16 hunters versus 6 prey, and the hunters rotated until everyone had used their paintballs (although they didn't tell the prey this). I was prey, this is some-what of a misleading title though because we figured, we can't die, who cares, and all-out attacked the hunters, just walking into the incoming paintballs and shooting them regardless of being hit, terminator style! The best part of this game was when I managed to run down the far side of the arena without being noticed and come up behind all of the hunters and shoot about 10 successive people in the back at a range of about 10 feet. I started to feel a little sorry for them as they kept yelping in pain, so instead I started to run up behind them and shout "I'M NOT A HUNTER, SURRENDER!" instead, which worked out quite well because once all the hunters were dead I had about 5 paintballs left. That was probably the most fun I've had in about 6 months.

I'm not sure I can expand this into an eloquent discourse on human nature, but it seems to me a major problem in today's society (and certainly a problem I struggle with) is the people's expectation to be entertained and an entire industry devoted to it that more often than not attempts to stroke and nurture this impulse. Before 700 Television Channels, the Internet, Video Games and 18 hour DVD box sets, I'm guessing that people must have actually done something productive, if not 'real' work, a hobby or a sport. Now there is so much stuff endlessly pumped at us by the entertainment industry encouraging people to just sit on their ass and mindlessly absorb totally pointless information (or perhaps play a relatively unchanging game over and over, which is possibly a little better, but not much). I (and I guess many others) find it hard not to just follow the short term impulse and go for the immediate gratification of watching a film, or playing a video-game. This, of course, leads me to often neglect more meaningful pursuits, such as my 'studies' or skill development (of any useful kind), which, whilst being hard work initially, are even in the mid-term much more fulfilling and satisfying than wasting your time on almost any product of the entertainment industry.

Even having left my computer and all my DVDs in London for the Christmas Holidays, it feels like my will to work has been sapped out of me even without a particularly entertaining alternative. Hopefully I'll be able to change that, perhaps it should be a new years resolution. On a different subject (I was never very good as using paragraphs properly) I think I'm going to redesign this site soon, mainly because I feel that I need update all the non-blog pages and I might as well change the formatting while I'm at it. Hopefully I'll be back in London soon, then again I don't want to offend my parents by leaving too soon, but I think I'll be able to work much better on my own in London, especially because I'll be able to eat properly again.... so hungry.

I woke up in the middle of the night, last night, because I thought there was a wasp crawling all over my face... yes I know it's winter, it was a dying wasp, or at least it would have been, had it existed. I can't open my jaw more than about a cm, which doesn't affect my speaking but it does make it quite difficult to eat, and no I have no idea why and I haven't been doing anything dodgy with my jaw. I wish I had brought my computer home or at least my weights, not bringing it was supposed to make me work, it's just made me bored instead.

Hey, just thought I'd let y'all know I've chilled out a bit since earlier, I think writing it down, as well as tidying up my room (I don't like being surrounded by mess) and listening to some Vocal Trance helped me feel better (and some mulled wine). I'm gonna leave the entry up though, although in case you didn't guess I was exaggerating a bit and a fair few good things have happened this term too, it's just harder to remember them when you're angry, heh.

I've been in a shitty mood recently, more or less the last two and a half months if I'm honest. Here's a Summary of this accademic year:

- Done almost no university work except that which is assessed (which isn't much).
- Pissed off several of my friends such that they won't talk to me anymore, which let's face it is them being cunts, not me, but still.
- Failed to get the number (as in didn't ask) of a *really* nice girl I met on a night out.
- Wasted an impressive amount of time playing video games or watching downloaded TV shows.
- Hardly gone out since NO ONE (not just Tom) would come with me to the Tidy Vs. Extreme Euphoria event because if they can't be bothered to come to stuff I like even if they don't they can get fucked if they think I'm going to go out to shitty indie/rock clubs.
- Running ridiculously low on money, having started term with a £500 overdraft and having to renew my insurance (£150), £60 going to Manchester and finally spent £70 on Feynman - Lectures on Physics, which would be fine if I'd actually done any work with which to use them.
- Had to ignore my Ex, as her repeatedly telling me about her love life, when I've said on several occasions that I don't want to hear it, was getting fucking annoying.
- Failed to keep up with my workouts so that I'm probably in worse shape than the start of term.
- Went to a karate club for 3 weeks until a subsitute instructor pissed me off too much my telling me to change my techniques and stances repeatadly dispite the fact that in MY style of Karate I was in fact totally correct.

The only thing that I'm happy with recently is that I've been there for some people that wanted to talk and I think I've been helpful, that and I've managed to cement one of the few good friendships I have left. If you read this and don't like it, fuck off, I don't care anymore, I've been a nice guy for the past 20 years, it's not paying off.

I just made a page for my 'work in progress' map, de_nuclearwinter, I've worked for a few hours at a stretch every few days for the last couple of weeks, if I keep it up, it might actually get near completion someday. There's 'pretty' pictures if you follow this link.

It's been almost a month since I last updated, obviously quite a lot has happened, along with a whole load of nothing to be fair. However I can't be bothered to recount any of it just now. For those of you who don't read my Livejournal page, I ended up going to the Tidy Vs. Extreme Euphoria do on my own, my sister nearly came down to join me but she was going out for her birthday the next evening and would have had to do 6 hours driving as well as a night out, so understandably gave it a miss.

I really enjoyed the night as it happens, a third of a bottle of Jim Beam before-hand probably helped. I spent most of my time in the 'star room' which was Hard Trance rather than Hard House, House or Funky House (the other rooms that were on offer). I lasted till about 3am, but then started to sober up because I couldn't afford to keep drinking. Had a Romanian girl fall asleep on my shoulder at the bus stop and spent the ride home chatting to her, which was slightly random, though nice.

I'm going to make a post in the near future, possibly tonight, about a CS:S map (de_nuclearwinter is it's current name) I've been working on as a *real* work avoidance tactic. It still needs a fair bit of work but for the first time with one of my maps I'm actually fairly happy with the layout, it's not amazing but it is fun and playable, if I ever finish it hopefully others will agree. Anyway I'm going to go make me a cuppa. <3 to all.